that didn't really work

The lists posted earlier were an attempt at positive thinking. I was feeling down and annoyed today, even though last night was the first night in a very long time that I actually had a full nights sleep during the week.

I started with the things I love because I find I spend most my time expressing all the things I hate. It sounded easier said then done. And true to form the fact that list took me so long write made me feel kind of shitty. So I wrote another one. Places I want to go. This made me feel good for the 5 minutes it took me to write the list. Fantasizing about the places I would like to see. Then I got depressed, thinking that there is a damn good chance I will not get to visit a lot of those places. With the exception of Ireland, I am currently planning a trip there, and Banff because its within Canada. And to be honest I probably wouldn't even really like India or Africa (depending where I went) because I don't care so much for the heat.

So then I thought ... well maybe if I listed 10 pretty interesting places I have visited it would make me realize that I have seen some sites and inspire me. Then that list made me realize that it was a very long time ago that I traveled anywhere except NYC and Key West. So then that bummed me out and had me wondering what the hell happened to me ... have I changed? am I a different person? then I thought about it some more and realized those places aren't even that exotic or exciting, they are the same places everyone goes. Then I just felt worse. It's all got to do with my frame of mind at the moment I suppose.

Lesson Learned: Feel good exercises don't work for me.

Good News: A thunder storm has just rolled in.